Since Oprah Winfrey put her magic touch on it, "The Secret" has been the latest rage, and the DVD of it flies off retailers' shelves. But "The Secret" is not new, nor has it really been a secret. Napoleon Hill is probably the most well-known promoter of the principles of attracting success, and his book "Think and Grow Rich", written in 1937, is one of the all-time most widely read books.

Flamenco dancers call it "duende "...the magnetic attraction of passion. How we speak, what we think, the attitudes we demonstrate serve as a magnet and attract to us results consistent with our speaking and thinking. If we want to change or enhance the results we have produced in life, we must be willing to change our current thinking and speak the language of success.

Here is a simple example of what is now known as the "Law of Attraction":

You know someone who has a string of failed relationships with different men or women, and while the people are different, the "script" is essentially the same! The person then concludes "men are jerks" or "Women! Who can understand them?!"

In essence, the person continues to attract the same kind of people who fit the existing belief and conversation he/she is having about relationships!

So, the first thing to understand is, if you want to change your life, you must change the conversation you are having with your self about your life!

The first step is to get very clear about what you want...exactly! Let's say you want a new car. Write down exactly what kind of car: what make and model, what color, what year model, what options on it, how much do you want to spend, and by when do you want it?

Getting a new car is an easy example. Let's try something more difficult for most people. If I ask people what they want for themselves, the answer is something like, "I just want to be happy." Well, the next question is, "what would make you happy?" As with the example of the car, write down exactly what it would look like if you were really happy with your life. This list is going to be much longer than the list for a car! Where would you live? What kind of home would you have? Who would be in it? What would your family, friends, co-worker relationships be like? How much money would you earn? How much would you have saved for retirement, a vacation, or whatever? What would be the condition of your health and body in general?

With each one of these facets, the same rule applies: the more specific and clear you are about what you want, the more likely you are to attain it!

The next step is to start observing your own speaking, to yourself and to others. How much of what you say is in conflict with what you say you want? For example, if you want more peace in your life, notice your use of vocabulary. How often do you use expressions such as "I hate..." or "I'm so angry…"? We use these phrases for the simplest of things: "I hate waiting on line" or "I hate being stuck in traffic". Notice what happens when you change the word "hate" to "annoyed" and distance yourself from it by using the third person: "It's annoying to wait on line"; "being stuck in traffic is annoying."

Using these more obvious situations will train you to be adept at changing the more subtle, internal conversations you have and the belief structure you have created. For example, what do you really believe you "deserve" in life? What is your sense of self-worth? The word "self-esteem" means, how do you regard yourself? It is not dependent on others' thinking about you. No one else can make you worthy; give you self-confidence; make you happy! Here is an exercise for you to do: Make a list of all the admirable attributes you possess that others find attractive in you. Stand in front of a mirror and look into your eyes; when you "make contact" with the person in the mirror, tell him/her all the good things you admire about him/her, including the qualities that others have said about you that you may not believe! Every day, do something for yourself that if a friend were to do it for you, you would be thankful.

In other words, create yourself as worthy of having the life you really want! Be your own best friend!

Finally, begin a gratitude journal. Begin each day with a sense of gratitude and say aloud at least five things for which you are grateful. Make sure each day you make a different list! The attitude of gratitude determines your altitude! Even on your "worst day", find something for which you can give thanks. As part of my commitment to expanding prosperity in my life, I quit "paying bills"; I now make contributions to the economy! Sound silly to you? So what! It works for me! When my CPA told me the "bad" news, that I owed more this year, I gave thanks for the extra money I made last year! And lo and behold, the next day, I had two people call and schedule me for a consult.

It's really no secret that "like attracts like." The key is to be what you want to attract!

Attractively yours,
Joan Garbo

Joan Garbo has been a consultant, trainer and public speaker since 1978 and has a Masters Degree from the University of Virginia. She has applied her training and experience in language development to communication and relationships in the workplace. For the past twelve years, Joan has specialized in consulting and training business owners and their employees in effective communication skills, team-building, executive coaching and how these skills impact customer service.
Joan Garbo & Associates is dedicated to supporting professionals and business owners in creating work environments that are nurturing, productive and prosperous to management, employees and clients alike.

Contact Information:
Phone: 1-631-608-2979
Email: joangarbo@aol.com