Do you know what I dislike about mornings? Sometimes they go ahead and start without me. Have you ever had something like the following illustration happen to you? You have an early morning patient, meeting or, in my case, surgery. Your staff has been diligent in making you aware of this event, and you've alerted everyone at home that you'll be leaving early in the morning. You climb into bed, set the alarm and drift off to sleep, feeling a little smug that your preparations for the next morning are complete. The next morning, you awake with a jolt! No alarm is blaring! You look at the clock and immediately feel queasy. You realize you were supposed to be there by now. As you throw off the covers, the phone rings. "Honey, it's the hospital wanting to know if you are coming?!" One of the kids comes in and says "Dad? Can you move your car? I'm gonna be late for school!" As you head for the bathroom, you're aware of your pulse pounding and your head beginning to throb. This is going to be a bad day!

While there is no Webster's definition of a "bad day", we can all identify with the preceding scenario. In my experience our bad days come at a time when we are stretched thin and suffering from the pressures of work, family, or other responsibilities. It's important to understand that there are some life events that are devastating, that cause not only bad days but bad months, or even bad years! Surviving those events calls for resources that, sometimes, we don't even know we possess. Those events are not the focus of our discussion. Rather, most of what we perceive as "bad days" are the result of temporary inconveniences to ourselves or others. But take heart! There are some sure-fire, tried and true remedies for a bad day.

The first remedy is to get a grip on what Life is about. Life is full of ups and downs, fraught with an infinite number of problems and, miraculously, an equal number of solutions. Our challenge is to navigate from one end of Life to the other. It's a huge game for which we should get points!

Let me illustrate this by drawing our attention to one of the great laboratories for studying bad days, the golf course. Most golfers hold themselves to such a high standard that they can't do anything but have a bad day. They come to the course with high expectations only to have one shot after another go awry. Usually they can tolerate this until they near the end of the first nine holes. Then, a shot out of bounds elicits expletives or worse, a golf club flying through the air. These players have missed the great beauty of golf, that it is a game designed to challenge the golfer and, in some cases, make him or her play badly. That challenge is the essence of golf!

Contrast this Saturday golfing buddy to one of the all-time great professional golfers, Tom Kite. In his book, Golf is Not a Game of Perfect, author Bob Rotella, a sports psychologist, recounts how Tom handled crises on the golf course. Having hit into the woods in an important tournament, all Kite said was, "You gotta love it!" He appreciated the fact that something like this was bound to happen sooner or later, but he was confident he would overcome the problem.

The second remedy for a "bad day" is to gain perspective on the problem. In my first illustration, I was embarrassed to have been late in awaking and I felt badly for making the patient wait. But we completed the surgery that day and all went well. Other than inconvenience and embarrassment, it was a minor event.

There was a time when important vs. non-important things were brought into sharp focus for me. My son, Scott, then 11 years old, was water skiing behind a boat driven by his grandfather. There were many children on the boat and someone told Scott that it was too crowded at the back of the boat, so he should climb on at the front of the boat. Forgetting Scott was at the front, the boat started out for the next skier. Scott clung to a line at the front until he was sucked beneath the hull. The propeller cut through both knees and his chest. From that moment on, Scott became the most important thing in my life. During the ensuing months of surgery and rehabilitation, I had an entirely new paradigm for evaluating which issues deserved my energies and which were not really that important.

The third remedy for a "bad day" is to look for the good in whatever situation befalls you. Maybe you'll get a new alarm clock, as I did! Perhaps you'll meet new people as you work through the problem. You may even change the way you live each day to avoid repeating the same problem.

A well-known motivational speaker, Mr. Doug Young, preaches that we must have a fascination with life instead of frustration. As I write this, my plane is descending toward Denver International Airport. We've been told to put up our tray tables and bring our seats to an upright position. Everyone has dutifully done that, EXCEPT the guy ahead of me. He's been told twice, but hasn't moved. His chair back has been in my lap for 2 hours and, because I'm a big guy, I've been anxious for him to sit up for some time. I moved my knees in to get them out of the aisle, which jostled him a little but still, no movement on his part.

Basically I've got two choices: to be frustrated that I'm still cramped up with his chair in my lap, or to be fascinated with why he's not complying. I have decided that he is silently protesting against the airline, and specifically, against the power the flight attendant is trying to exert over him. Whatever his story may be, his wife just told him to put his seat back up. He did.

We're all a "work in progress", aren't we? Some days, though I appreciate life for its inherent unpredictability, and though I try to keep things in perspective, I still get frustrated instead of fascinated. But as the fascination happens more times than not, it's making my life more enjoyable. Are there some "bad days" in the future for all of us? Probably. But by utilizing these sure-fire remedies, I'm confident that we will still be victorious in the Game of Life.

Dr. Marty Wade is an oral surgeon with a passion for teaching, learning and serving. He founded True North Professional Studies, a "university without walls", for dentists and staff and was named Study Club Director of the Year by the Seattle Study Club Network. Dr. Wade has authored and lectured on both clinical and personal development topics and, as a clinician, was named "Top Dentist" by Minneapolis-St. Paul magazine. In addition to his private practice Dr. Wade is the founder of LionsGate Leadership Coaching, a speaking and consulting resource for dentists. His presentations and writing reflect experience, wisdom and insight.

Contact info:
LionsGate Leadership Coaching
Phone: 773-304-6879
Email: info@lionsgateleadershipcoaching.com
Address: Dr. Marshall Wade
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